English not inglés
Can you hear me? Can you see me? I speak to you in the language that the language that I've been perfectioning because it's not becauSe but becauZe I talk to you with the words that have been placed in my mouth for seven years to go from saying "Hello, how are you?" to I wish I could become the bacteria that thrives when my body starts decomposing becauZe, you see, I had to learn to speak to ee-ou not jjou this is the way Americans say it this is the way we say it we don't pronounce the O like that the U sounds different but I'm never good enough the voice in my head, you, she, he, they tell me I can't fool anyone English, not inglés la lingua franca You got that one right? Are you listening? I am perfectioning my Words just for ee-ou but no matter what I do nothing will fill the void I have when I speak your words and yet, here I am as American as you please as Mexican as they want as pocha as I exist I still remember the words my existence is resistance and I wonder if my English is the words you could never say the ones you don't dare to say I must let you go but will my inglés hunt you down? After all... I hope I don't wake you up in the middle of the night with a random noise on a quiet night your feet are cold uncovered you reach for the blanket you feel something else a hand? a strand of hair? you better keep your eyes closed and hope these words wont drag you down to the darkest part of my soul
The Tourist
The duty is
to protect
the
t o u r i s t
You're born
You grow
You protect the tourist
You die
Amen
What happened?
You can't focus on protecting
the t o u r i s t ?
Yes, it must be hard having to work more than 12 hours a day
but
The tourist will save you
Amen
Excuse me?
What are you saying?
You can't just be an
e d u c a t e d
and
k i n d
citizen because you have to take care of your family and never went to school?
My brother, the one who has the will has the power
and p r o t e c t i n g
the t o u r i s t
is your duty
The tourist is our messiah
The savior of our beaches
jungles
cenotes
wildlife
your children
my children
your life
for ever
Put yourself under Him and eternal peace will come to your life
Don't complain about the downs
gunshots
kidnappings
feminicides
hunger
poverty
colonialism
machismo
slavery
exile
extractivism
pollution
capitalism
because as long as you have Him, the tourist, in your heart
no evil will come your way
In the
name
of the father,
the son and
the holy
tourist
A M E N
Background and Process
“English, not inglés” is a poem about my relationship with English, which connects to my identity. I wanted to show somehow the complexity of being a young immigrant and having to learn the proper way to speak a language that is not your own. Although I still feel so alienated when speaking and writing in English, I am still expressing myself in this language, which makes me feel lost at times but has also helped me find a part of my identity that wasn’t there until I became an immigrant. Is there anyone I’m directing to with this poem? Yes and no. I did have some people in mind; some that pushed me too hard on the way I would pronounce things or how I would say things. On the other hand, I feel like this poem can be directed to anyone, even to myself; it is somehow of a universal experience for many people.
The first version of this poem is in English, which is unusual for me as I feel more comfortable writing in Spanish. However, because of the subject that this poem covers, it makes sense why I started in English.
“The Tourist” is a poem I wrote as a criticism towards tourism in my city, Acapulco, and it mocks the position of certain citizens/politicians when they prioritize a tourist (usually a foreign tourist) over the well-being of the locals and the environment as a whole. I got the idea from someone who commented on a Facebook post saying that the “duty” of an Acapulqueño is to be an “educated” and “kind” citizen for the sake of tourism! On one hand, I understand why tourism is so important to my city and so many other places. However, I cannot just ignore all the injustices and the dirtiness that comes with it. Many will try to hide the truth in order to protect the image of the city and encourage more tourists to come. But things can’t stay hidden forever. I also wanted to add some religious satire in order to show the ridiculousness of some people when they see and treat tourists as more valuable humans. Lastly, I loved playing with the structure of the poem, allowing myself for more liberty. I got the inspiration from a young Cuban poet, Ray Veiro, and in one of his poems “Todos se llamaran Ana Mendieta…“, he uses this type of non-traditional structure. The structure of my poem also reflects the complexity and the messiness of this crisis.
Contrary to the first poem, this one I wrote first in Spanish and then translated it into English. I had a hard time translating this poem, especially the verbs because in Spanish you don’t usually need to mention the pronoun/subject but in English you do or else it won’t make sense. I did my best at translating it and hope the readers can get the message!
